オーケストラについては、リハーサルが始まって以来演奏者が曲のことをどう思ってくれているのか気になってしまっていましたが、クラスで会ったときなどに個人的に声をかけてもらったり本当に励まされています。
少し、オケの曲を演奏してもらえるという幸運に甘えや欲が出ていたように思います。曲や自分をそれ以上のものに見られたいという気持ちが出ていたというか・・・。
なんといってももう作曲家としての仕事は終わっているはず（楽譜の不備がなければ）なので、演奏してもらった音一つ一つに感謝しながら見守りたいと思います。
Today, I did not have the Score reading and Keyboard class because the teacher of the classes was out of country for his concert. Since these two classes are the hardest ones for me to prepare these days, today was the happiest Friday ever since this semester has started.
By the way, I was worrying what the players in the orchestra feel about my piece, after the rehearsal. But I felt supported when I hear from some players that they liked it. Today I found that I unconsciously got to be wanting to be seen the piece more than it really is, and sometimes it overcomes the thankfulness to be played. Since my work as a composer is done, unless otherwise there are mistakes in the parts or the score.., I will really appreciate every note which was played for my piece from now on.